What a pain, this wedding stuff.

I'm really tired of looking at myself.

2006-09-17T17:41:00.000-07:00

Originally uploaded by contraversion.

But, I've uploaded a fine selection of photos from our photographers here.

We're back!

2006-09-08T16:23:00.000-07:00

Originally uploaded by contraversion.

It was awesome. You can see more photos here.

Thanks, kids.

2006-08-26T23:13:00.000-07:00

If you'd like, send your photos to our Flickr group.

I'd say my biggest regret is missing Steve and Goldman's dance-off.

The caterer ended up giving me all the leftover cake in a giant tupperware tub. We got enough leftover cake to be someone else's wedding cake.

Also, I do not recommend driving with a wedding dress on. They're not really built for limb mobility. On the otherhand, it would've been fun if a cop pulled me over, and I'm all, "LISTEN, WE'RE LATE, WE GOTTA GET TO THE CHURCH NOW, CAN WE TAKE CARE OF THIS AFTERWARD?"

Fun facts: my sound guy? Got married two months ago. My makeup artist? Getting married next week.

Here's the playlist, if anyone wonders. It was fun picking the music out, it was like a gigantic mix tape. The recessional was "Hesitating Beauty" by Wilco off "Mermaid Avenue," where they and Billy Bragg do the Woody Guthrie covers.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

2006-08-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

We're back to typical SF summer weather conditions, so dress warmly for the ceremony. The reception will be indoors.

We're moderately busy finishing up details. Steve bought a couple of ties on Sunday. I still need to take the seating chart to the print shop. Not too stressful because, heck, who can get stressed out with kitties sleeping on your lap?

Yes, we have cats now! This was a bit unexpected, but we were going to get a cat after we got back from the honeymoon, so we're just doing everything 3 weeks earlier than we planned for.

Thanks to everyone who RSVP'd before the deadline.

2006-08-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

We'll be sending out enforcers to get answers from the tardy. (Tsk, tsk!)

Steve and I will be doing a walk-through at the venue on Friday. Incredibly banal tasks are all that's left. Steve needs a tie. I need to make a card box and a seating chart. I'm waiting for some some stuff to arrive in the mail. Mom and caterer need a final guest count for flowers and food, respectively. (This is where the enforcers come in.)

I am, again, without a ring. I sent it back to the jeweler to get it tuned up, the center stone was a wee bit loose.

In happier news, the travel documents for our honeymoon are in the mail! Whoo!

We should've invited Spinal Tap.

2006-07-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

Stacy: Gasp! Someone on CL's WedFo is asking what the appropriate way to object to a marriage is during the ceremony. He thinks the bride should be marrying him!

Steve: You know what would be great? If someone would stand up during the ceremony and say, "I object... that this wedding isn't rocking enough."

Stacy: And a band rises on a hidden stage up from the grass!

This is also a reminder to folks that you've got about a week to send in your RSVPs before we send out our Wedding Enforcers to get your response.

Marriage license obtained!

2006-07-03T23:21:00.000-07:00

Steve and I both had the day off, but the Office of the County Clerk did not, so we solemnly swore all our information on the application was correct and got our marriage license today.

They give all couples applying for a marriage license an informational booklet about STDs, domestic violence and pregnancy health concerns. (Fun!) So, I learned pregnant women shouldn't eat cold cuts or change cat litter. Thanks, City Hall!

Steve mentioned we were getting married in just seven weeks and I nearly had a heart attack. Whew, time's flying...

Strapless dresses and everyone who hates them.

2006-06-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

An amusing article about the popularity of strapless dresses among brides, and only brides.

Command... execute.

2006-06-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

Steve, like myself, is a person of non-standard size, so we're also outsourcing his suit. My Custom Tailor asked for about twice as many measurements compared to my dress, and Steve insisted insisted insisted we get the optional monogram sewn inside. (I really learn something new about Steve every day. Monograms? A fashion must for Steve, apparently.)

Their command of English is strong, but sometimes their choice of words is funny:

The suit will cost 4x's my dress, which thrills me, like I won some kind of cheapskate contest.

A day late...

2006-06-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

a dollar short. But, yesterday was Loving Day, the anniversary of the Supreme Court ruling that made interracial marriage legal. Hooray! Thanks, Mildred & Richard.

Steve and I discuss videographers.

2006-06-07T09:24:00.000-07:00

Steve: so [Steve's co-worker] says they had a videographer and were really surprised at how well it turned out.
Stacy: No video. Did you want video?
Steve: haha
no, I hadn't thought of it before.
she said they were dead set against it.
but then changed their mind and are glad they did it.
Stacy: I thought it was unnecessary and never bothered exploring it.
Steve: it's like $1000
Stacy: Our wedding's less theatrical than hers, though.
Steve: yes,
I mentioned that.
theirs was 6-7 hours
Stacy: It would basically be 8 hours of you eating a quesadilla.
Steve: nice!

The most important thing about our wedding

2006-05-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

is the lifelong commitment Steve and I are beginning in the presence of our family and friends.

Coming in a close second is the food. Here's a menu preview. It's surprisingly vegan-friendly, if you are of that persuasion.

Appetizers
Seasonal fresh Fruit with Cowgirl Cheeses & Crackers
Brie en Croute
Crostini Bar Toppings: Roasted Red and Yellow Pepper Aioli, Arugula Pesto, Caponata

Pre-Set Salad
Coastal Greens with Baby Mozzarella Balls
Grape Tomatoes both red and yellow
Toasted Pine Nuts served with Basil Vinaigrette

Note: they can do a vegan version, please email us to request!

China Town Station
Har Gow (Shrimp), Siu Mai (Pork), Spinach Dumpling
Barbecue Pork Bun
Foil Wrapped Chicken
Served with: Hot and Sour, Cilantro, Mongolian Garlic BBQ sauces

Japan Town Station
Freshly made Sushi with Wasabi and Pickled Ginger

North Beach Station
Risotto Bar with Wild Mushroom and Herb
Mint and Garlic marinated Lamb Skewer served with Tahini and Honey Dipping sauce
Mediterranean Vegetable Skewer served with a Romesco sauce (A Catalonian sauce of Tomatoes, Red Bell Peppers, Onion, Garlic, Almonds and Olive Oil)

Mission Station
Grilled Mexican Shrimp and Melon salad with Tequila Lime Vinaigrette
Quesadilla Bar with:
Pork Asado in Cuban Orange Mojo
Corn, Chilies, Zucchini, and Spinach in Mexican Cream sauce
Avocado and Corn Relish

Yay, the dress came!

2006-05-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

Dress spoiler 1
Dress spoiler 2
Dress spoiler 3
Dress spoiler 4
Dress spoiler 5
Dress spoiler 6

Unlike the previous dress, I have full range of motion and sitting ability. :) We are pleased.

Why so early with the invites?

2006-05-15T11:12:00.000-07:00

The Coventry Motor Inn requires everyone to make their reservations 60 days prior to their stay. (A bit excessive, but it was the least expensive hotel near the ceremony site.) We sent the invites out early to give the out-of-town guests ample time to book their rooms.

So, out-of-towners, please make your reservations by Sunday, June 25th. The Coventry Motor Inn will release the rooms after that date, and can't guarantee the discounted room rate afterward.

Registry.

2006-05-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

Steve and I have lived together for about two years now, and we've got all the house stuff we'll need for a while.

But, we understand that guests will want to give us something to celebrate our wedding, and would find suggestions helpful. So, we've registered our honeymoon at The Big Day. We've also made a donation to the American Red Cross as one of the registry items if you'd like to make a contribution in our names.

You can go to the website to browse and order, or you can place an order over the phone at 1-800-304-1141. We chose The Big Day to handle our honeymoon registry because they're spiffy folks and they won't force an additional fee on our guests for using their service.

The registry is only a suggestion, of course. We welcome any hand-crafted or otherwise off-registry gifts. :)

I kid you not.

2006-05-03T09:52:00.000-07:00

Rent a Priest. And they have a blog!

E-ring v2.0

2006-04-30T12:21:00.001-07:00

For those of you just joining us, I had my engagement ring re-set into a platinum setting to match Steve's future wedding band. I had the fine gentlemen at Green Karat do the work. I sent them a few photos of designs I liked and they said they could replicate the 1st one using the existing stones.

Matt at GreenKarat is very responsive via email and the whole thing took about a month or so to do. And, the metal is recycled, to boot.

I'm exceedingly fond of it! The original Tiffany setting made the center stone look bigger, but more practically, I'm not banging it into stuff as much and I feel more secure about its safety.

It's so pretty, I'm considering skipping a wedding band and just wearing this.

And you thought weddings were complicated and expensive.

2006-04-26T16:47:00.000-07:00

Try buying a house. Steve and I have spent a concentrated week house-hunting. It has effectively distracted me from my invitation assembly duties. (Must! Print! Enclosures! Soon!)

In the meantime, enjoy this image of the cake we're getting. It'll be chocolate fondant with chocolate cake and chocolate filling. But, no flowers. And no Precious Moments tableau of us in front of a tiny cake. (WTF? Why is there an alternate reality on my dessert?)

NorCal wedding forums.

2006-04-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

I think just about everyone getting married nowadays leans on the internet for planning advice and support. I thought I've give my thoughts about some of the popular forums and bulletin boards out there.

Wedding Channel's Nor Cal forum. Mildly active. Most folks are looking for vendor recs, particularily hair/make-up. You really need to go to topic-specific forums to get more activity and the community feel. Searching the archives is very useful if you want to past recommendations, but WC, at some point, switched their forum software, so links created in the old forum's pseudo-HTML are broken.

The Knot's Nor Cal forum. I can't comment much on content; the awkward awfulness of TheKnot's forum structure has successfully driven me away. Even more awful than the forum structure: a video stream starts automatically every time you visit the page. Search function is awful. Did I mention how awful this is? The planning tools are fabulous, but look elsewhere for advice and camaraderie.

Craigslist WedFo. There's also the secret forums: WedFitFo, WedShareFo, Secret WedFo. By far the most active, most addictive, and with the most community feel, but also has the most drama. CL, in true nerd stylee, favors an open and free internet, and thus requires minimal registration (if any) and favors a self-governing attitude. However, the trolling and frenzied reactions to trolling create a never-ending meta-conversation about the forum and legitimate posts have a defensive tone.

The ideas and suggestions are fairly run-of-the-mill; it's a good place to start if you've got no idea where to start. You could probably go in, hang around for 3 months, and get all you're ever going to get from it. Search is especially useful to see only posts with photos (use "img" as the keyword search), but I'm uncertain how long CL keeps their archives.

Kvetch at Indiebride.com Not NorCal specific, but it is my favorite. The women generally are nicer, more articulate, more resourceful. There are dedicated topics to marriage topics, not just wedding stuff. Their suggestions are more inspired than the usual poofy-dress weddings. Search is pretty good, too. Drawbacks: it has a nice community, but is fairly dead when compared to CL's WedFo. Also, there's some quirk in their forum software that requires you to register with a free account like Hotmail, Yahoo or Gmail, or else email the forum admin for approval.

About 4 months to go...

2006-04-20T15:56:00.000-07:00

I've hit a lull in the planning. Steve's wrangling some snail mail addresses, I'm working on the invite enclosures, but I don't mail them out until mid-May. The jeweler is shipping my newly reset engagement ring tomorrow. (Yip!) Dress v2.5 is still being made in China. We'll shop for wedding bands and Steve's suit in June. What's left? Oh, we haven't figured out the ceremony yet. I fantasize it being short and simple, like

Officiant: Do you?
Me: Yup.
Officiant: You, too?
Steve: Uh-huh.
Officiant: Great, let's all hit the crostini bar!*

but, I probably couldn't get away with this.

*Yes, we're having a crostini bar with your choice of Roasted Red and Yellow Pepper Aioli, Arugula Pesto and/or Caponata. Doesn't that sound nummy?

We obsess over paper.

2006-04-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

I immediately went to Paper Source last night to pick up enclosure cards. They didn't have the color I was seeking ("rhubarb"), but they had postcard-sized cards, which they don't offer on their website or catalog. So, 3 packs of superfine white A2 cards, and 2 packs of red postcards.

I would've preferred the more mauve-y Rhubarb, but I spent 30 minutes wearing a track into their floorboards, endlessly circling for a more mauve-y/burgandy-y shade, and I felt that I was veering dangerously into Crazy Bride Zone, ready to grasp the sales people by their lapels and shout in their faces, "Rhubarb postcards, damn you, rhuuuuuuuubaaaaaaaarb!"

But, red is good, too.

Our gigantic invitations came!

2006-04-17T10:35:00.000-07:00

The color came out pretty nice.

Did you watch the Sopranos wedding?

2006-04-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

I think I speak for everyone when I say that if Johnny Sack paid $425,000 for Allegra's wedding, he could've gotten a band that would've skipped the "The Bride Cuts the Cake" song (audio link).

The DeBeers advertising campaigns.

2006-04-10T15:39:00.000-07:00

A rather thorough article on why diamonds are the gem of choice for engagement rings. (In short, the advertising agency hired by DeBeers recognized Americans purchased goods not for utility, but for "conspicuous consumption" and designed advertising campaigns to manipulate the market.)

Even more interesting is the campaign in Japan:

Until the mid-1960s, Japanese parents arranged marriages for their children through trusted intermediaries. The ceremony was consummated, according to Shinto law, by the bride and groom drinking rice wine from the same wooden bowl. There was no tradition of romance, courtship, seduction, or prenuptial love in Japan; and none that required the gift of a diamond engagement ring. Even the fact that millions of American soldiers had been assigned to military duty in Japan for a decade had not created any substantial Japanese interest in giving diamonds as a token of love.

J. Walter Thompson began its campaign by suggesting that diamonds were a visible sign of modern Western values. It created a series of color advertisements in Japanese magazines showing beautiful women displaying their diamond rings. All the women had Western facial features and wore European clothes. Moreover, the women in most of the advertisements were involved in some activity -- such as bicycling, camping, yachting, ocean swimming, or mountain climbing -- that defied Japanese traditions. In the background, there usually stood a Japanese man, also attired in fashionable European clothes. In addition, almost all of the automobiles, sporting equipment, and other artifacts in the picture were conspicuous foreign imports. The message was clear: diamonds represent a sharp break with the Oriental past and a sign of entry into modern life.

The campaign was remarkably successful. Until 1959, the importation of diamonds had not even been permitted by the postwar Japanese government. When the campaign began, in 1967, not quite 5 percent of engaged Japanese women received a diamond engagement ring. By 1972, the proportion had risen to 27 percent. By 1978, half of all Japanese women who were married wore a diamond; by 1981, some 60 percent of Japanese brides wore diamonds. In a mere fourteen years, the 1,500-year Japanese tradition had been radically revised. Diamonds became a staple of the Japanese marriage. Japan became the second largest market, after the United States, for the sale of diamond engagement rings.

Even more scandalous: when small Soviet diamonds flooded the market, the engineered another advertising campaign to create a new market for smaller diamonds by introducing the idea that color, cut and clarity (sound familiar?) was just as important as carat size.

De Beers ordered N. W. Ayer to reverse one of its themes: women were no longer to be led to equate the status and emotional commitment to an engagement with the sheer size of the diamond. A "strategy for small diamond sales" was outlined, stressing the "importance of quality, color and cut" over size. Pictures of "one quarter carat" rings would replace pictures of "up to 2 carat" rings. Moreover, the advertising agency began in its international campaign to "illustrate gems as small as one-tenth of a carat and give them the same emotional importance as larger stones." The news releases also made clear that women should think of diamonds, regardless of size, as objects of perfection: a small diamond could be as perfect as a large diamond.

Read the whole thing, there's even more market manipulation in the article.

Ooh, Kath Hughes called me back.

2006-04-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

She sounded friendly! I told her that I was working it out with the seller to get a bigger dress, but could possibly need her services for hemming. Since the dress is 3 layers, she said it would be about $90-100 and would need about a week.

With major alterations, she said she didn't like to do it more than a couple weeks out because "you brides. always. lose. weight. And you don't want to pay twice!"

I got a good vibe from her, I'm glad I talked to her so I've got someone local to work on Dress v2.5 if it's not quite right, or if by some miracle of fitness I do lose a lot of weight. I'm also surprised on how little turnaround time she needs for even the big alterations, the popular bridal advice is to budget like a month or two.

Yay, positive things!

Dress v2.5

2006-04-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

The dress people apologized and said they could make a new dress for $80. Sold! I'll keep this Dress v2.0 in the closet until I get v2.5 and make sure it'll work.

Then, I'll probably sell v2.0. Let me know if you want it. I'm a street size 14/16 and 5'10", so if you're smaller than that, it'd be easy to take the dress in to fit you.

Gawd, I had no idea the dress would be such a big deal. :p

OK, I'm crazy.

2006-04-06T22:05:00.000-07:00

I've talked to a couple of people who know about sewing, and they said that to make a looser A-line shape, the most likely scenario would be to add more fabric at each of the 5 seams in the skirt, which is sounding like a lot of labor (and thus, money) to me. And, there's the difficulty of matching the color, which I thought wouldn't be a big deal, but now I'm thinking it would look really odd and stripe-y if the color was even a bit off.

So, I shot a more serious email to the eBay seller detailing the changes I would like and asking for an estimate for price/turnaround.

And, honestly, I started thinking more seriously about the new dress option because the seamstress I left a message with still hasn't called me back. That's frustrating. :(

In non-dress news...

2006-04-06T11:25:00.000-07:00

we got the invite proof. I got a momentary bridezilla moment of, "Did I capitalize everything right?" but then got over it.

And, engagement ring v2.0 will be shipping next week from the jeweler. It has been very strange not wearing it, I really got used to wearing a ring. Like, I learned to twist my hand slightly when putting it in pockets so it wouldn't get caught; I'm still doing it even though I'm not wearing one right now.

Someday, I'll have a dress.

2006-04-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

I left a message with the much-lauded wedding dress superstar Kath Hughes explaining my dress situation and am awaiting her return call.

I also shot an email to the ebay seller explaining my dress situation and seeing what they say. I mean, if they offer to send a replacement dress with a more A-line-y skirt, I wouldn't say no.

I could, of course, commit to losing 20 lb, but I can't really predict where I would lose weight, how much I need to lose to fit, and if I could absolutely do it by August. Besides which, is altering my body to fit clothes the proper way to go about it? Double besides which, it's still too long.

Well, the good news is that I can get the dress on.

2006-04-04T22:02:00.000-07:00

Update: You can read some textual notes about workmanship and whatnot here.

The bad news is that I can't sit down. The dress turns out to be more mermaid-y than I thought it'd be. I think this is alterable by adding a triangular piece to the back to make a more a-line-y drape to the skirt. (At least, I hope this is alterable, meep.)

On a minor note, it's also too long, but that should be easily alterable.

But, really not bad at all for $100! I like it a lot, Steve likes it (we don't believe in the "No seeing the dress" rule). As long as I can get the alterations done, I think we're good to go!

So, here's the image from the designer (Forever Yours #35204):

This was the seller's version of the dress:

And here's me in it:

Dress arrived!

2006-04-04T15:00:00.000-07:00

Update: Photos are here. I also added some more notes below now that I've lived with it for a while.

Since I'm at work and can't exactly try it on in the middle of the day, I can't comment on fit at all. But, some first impressions:

1) Pretty!

2) Unnecessary: bra cups. They're attached with a few threads at the "apex." I wasn't going to depend on them as my only undergarment, but I'm thinking they shouldn't bother including them at all.

3) Good: there is light boning in the bodice. I had wondered if there would be any.

4) Good: there is a privacy panel that is attached on one side. I hadn't specifically requested one, so I had wondered if they would include it.

5) Meh, small regret: there was a scrap of fabric with some measurements and notes written in Chinese on it. It looks like they converted my measurements in inches into centimeters. I had really debated on whether I should give my measurements in centimeters to avoid any conversion discrepancies, and now I wished I had done centimeters for greater accuracy.

6) Possible bad for other people: the embroidery on the bodice was done on a stiffer piece of translucent fabric and then sewn onto the bodice. I have no idea if this is how the "real" dresses are done, but it strikes me as kind of a cheat. Not at all a negative to me because you don't notice it unless you're right up next to it. (And, unless you're Steve, your face shouldn't be that close to my bodice.) Update: there's about an 1" seam allowance on either side of the bodice with the embroidery, so if you need to let that part out, you're covered.

7) Good: hanging loops for a hanger. I know that's an incredibly small and stupid thing to care about, but for $100, I was expecting the worse.

8) Possible bad: I may be wrong here, but I think it might be way too long. Will update once I try it on. Update: it's about an inch or two too long and I think I know why. They asked for a shoulder to feet measurement. You don't actually want the dress to hit the floor if you don't have a crinoline, or else you end up stepping on the hem all the time.

9) Pretty! Can't wait to try it on and feel all bridal.

10) Mostly good: there were 3 layers. Top was chiffon and a "satin" underneath and a softer material was sewn into the lining. It wasn't a silk satin, just a fabric with a satin finish, but I was expecting that already. Some of the sewing is kind of sloppy here in the non-visible parts, but that's acceptable to me for a dress I'm going to wear for a day.

11) Funny: they packaged the dress by rolling it into a tight lump, placing it in a protective plastic bag, and then fitting it into a Fed Ex bag. It kinda looks like a kilo of heroin when you get it. I think some people are turned off by this, but I didn't mind. I don't think any kind of packaging would totally prevent wrinkles in transit.

Yay!

2006-03-30T21:01:00.000-08:00

dear Stacy Wong

thanks for your email

we will finish your dress in 2 days and will inform you when we ship it

Thanks and best regards
ebridalstore

Other people's dresses.

2006-03-28T09:57:00.000-08:00

I am, as you know, curious about wedding dresses made in China, and this lucky lass just got hers, a Maggie Sottero knock-off. An $800 dress for $250!

She got it from a different shop than I did, though, so it's not like this is any indication of what my dress will be like. Still, it's nice to know that the discount ebay dresses from China are up to snuff. It does seem like if you want a Maggie-Sottero-style dress, you really should check out Cinderella Bridal Shop.

No, you can't bring a date.

2006-03-21T16:58:00.000-08:00

We're going by the couples/engaged/living together rule for invitees. I'm hoping people respect the number of seats we reserved for them; I'm kind of dreading having to "deal" with extra people. I read about a friendship that shriveled up and died because of the +1 controversy.

I can understand why people feel like they can bring a date. Presumably, invitees are applying a transitive property of affection. ("I'm important to Steve & Stacy. My date is important to me. Thus, my date is important to S&S and can have cake with us.")

But, I don't want strangers at my wedding, who can only witness the ceremony with detached, voyeuristic sentiment, take advantage of our hospitality at the reception, and then, disappear from our lives. Also, it's not a "invite everyone I ever knew" kind of wedding. It just doesn't feel right that I don't invite people I've previously lived with and/or shared significant experiences with, but I'm pressured to allow complete strangers to come.

Best Kvetch post ever.

2006-03-16T13:11:00.000-08:00

Wife finds husband's secret double life.

Scattered update.

2006-03-16T11:09:00.000-08:00

Nothing earth-shattering in planning news. I did send my engagement ring off to Texas to be re-set into a platinum setting. Shipping jewelry is nerve-wracking, but it made it to Magnolia, TX safely. Did you know there were certain zip codes you should never ship jewelry to/from? Amazing.

Dress should get here in 2-4 weeks. In the meantime, I check the seller's feedback obsessively to make sure they're still in business and that people are satisfied with what they got. (Still really positive.) You know, for all the wedding blogging and forum vendor reviews and knottie bios, there's very little detailed feedback/reviews/photos from people who've gone through the whole process of ordering a custom dress from China through ebay. But, there's a lot of curiosity about it, judging from the forums. For the sake of posterity, I'll be sure to document extensively when it comes in.

You are not a unique snowflake.

2006-03-10T23:03:00.000-08:00

A collection of brides wearing their Maggie Sottero "Grace" dress.

That is one popular dress.

Another Etsy find.

2006-03-07T21:58:00.000-08:00

Ling makes gorgeous glass pendants and sells them at her Etsy store. Most are under $20, some are under $10! They'd make great bridesmaids gifts or, in my case, they're great for the bride as well.

One of the first things Steve gave me was a white gold necklace for my birthday. I wear it all the time and I feel weird without it. I've asked the artist to make this design in purple, and assuming it doesn't clash horribly with the dress, I'll hang it on the necklace for the big day. It's cool that I've found a way to wear Steve's first gift to me at the wedding. :)

Steve on picking linen colors.

2006-03-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

Steve: We did it so quickly because we know exactly what we like and don't like. And things we don't like, we really don't like.

Stacy: What, really? Is that true? (Have I not a delicate soul, sensitive to shade and suggestion, ever adapting and rejoicing to the ebb and flow of the univer...)

Steve: Would you have chosen the lime green?

Stacy (gutteral pukey noise, like): Ughkh, no.

Steve: See!

We pick linens & plates.

2006-03-05T13:42:00.000-08:00

Steve, my trusty co-pilot, and I drove to San Rafael to pick out linens and plates. Steve wanted me to mention here that we use a StreetPilot i2 to help us navigate. We call it ScottScott because it isn't a TomTom. It's really quite fabulous because you don't have to Mapquest routes beforehand. On the other hand, it told me to make a left on Geary when there was a median preventing me from doing so. All in all, however, a pretty nifty device.

OK, back to colors. We're not that picky, but picking the linens now forces us to pick "our colors" and helps me make color decisions about other things like flowers, invitations, etc. How long did it take us? Half-hour. It'll be burgandy on ivory damask and the salads will be on these funky square hammered glass plates.

The stations will be on serpentine tables (they're wavy tables that look like this) in the corners of the room and the caterer introduced the idea of having flavored coffees or an espresso machine and dude for cappuccinos, lattes, etc.

Mildly exciting!

Lab coats are for proles.

2006-03-03T13:35:00.000-08:00

I always do cancer research in a wedding gown, what do you wear?

LazyWeb idea: searchable photos of women wearing their wedding dress.

2006-03-03T13:01:00.000-08:00

It would be cool if a website compiled photos of women wearing their wedding dress and all the relevant information. Then, you could search by designer, street size, height, neckline style, color, etc and see what women who aren't supermodels look like in certain cuts and in dresses by certain designers.

And you know brides have, like, 20 photos of The Dress and know the circumference of our thighs to the millimeter. The information is out there, it just needs to be centralized and tagged.

Dress rambling.

2006-02-28T14:15:00.000-08:00

So, the shop said that they're backed up a bit because of Chinese New Year, so the dress will take the full 30-40 days (rather than their standard 15-30 days), which puts us at around Tax Time in mid-April. That's not too bad considering the standard dress turnaround is 3-4 months.

I'm a little bit more excited about Dress #2. Dress #1 was making me nervous because it was so very simple; there wasn't a lot of visual distraction from my unsightly bulges and I was insecure about whether I ordered the right size and whether it would be long enough.

Dress #2, on the other hand, has a highly adjustable corset (freeing me from alterations, hopefully) and has chevron-y seams in the front (slimming!) and beading (camouflaging!). And, they're making it to my extremely weird measurements (I'm somewhere between a street size 14 & 16, but tall, and not well-endowed.)

So, remember: when you're filing your taxes at the last minute, you can think, "At last, Stacy is receiving her dress. Unless it gets stuck in customs."

The Sullatips: Straightforward Rules for Keeping Wedding Planning From Sapping Your Common Sense, Squashing Your Sense of Humor

2006-02-28T10:02:00.000-08:00

This is good, maybe the best wedding planning advice I've read, and you should totally read it and pass it on to anyone getting married.

But, it only really addresses the incredibly superficial matching-postage-stamps kinds of brides. If you're a couple working on an extreme budget, or have very difficult family and friends dictating how your wedding must be, that's a different kind of stress than worrying if your dress is going to match your limo.

Martha Stewart, you magnificent bastard.

2006-02-28T09:06:00.000-08:00

Cut off the stem of a head of lettuce. Use it a stamp. Instant roses.

(Courtesy of a CL WedFo'er.)

Outsourcing the dress.

2006-02-27T15:53:00.000-08:00

I took a shine to the ebay dress and bought it. Which is funny, because when I first started looking, I was pretty sure I didn't want a Maggie Sottero-looking strapless poofy a-line with a train and a corset.

And yet, this is a strapless with a train and corset. (I drew the line at a poofy a-line, though.)

I paid a whopping $100 for it and I've sent my measurements off, so hopefully I'll have a custom-made dress in 30 days or less. Whoo!

The feedback I've read about the china-based ebay shops is that people are shocked at how good the craftsmanship is. So, it makes me wonder if the seamstresses who work on the $100 ebay knock-offs also work on the actual designer dresses. The First Dress Fiasco did teach me that wedding dresses are being manufactured abroad; it doesn't seem hard for a local business to contract the same seamstresses and sell the dresses on eBay without the designer mark-up.

How to write a Thank You note.

2006-02-27T11:24:00.000-08:00

Solid advice.

We're looking for a Chewie now.

2006-02-25T18:24:00.000-08:00

Steve suggested (not seriously) that we could use the music from the medal presentation at the end of New Hope for a processional. There's that brass-y part in the beginning, you know, how perfect!

I said we can have our officiant, Rosco, dress up like Princess Leia.

OMG, UPDATE: But, wouldn't it make a great recessional!

We shop.

2006-02-25T15:59:00.000-08:00

I figure since my dress is going to be simple, I'll bling out a little with the accessories. Plus, I needed some retail therapy after the trauma of the dress disaster, so here's what I picked up downtown:

Pretty hair deal from H&M ($5.90):

This I picked up on ebay ($5):

Shoe candidate ($70). I need flats since I'll be walking on grass. Plus, Steve and I are the same height and I don't want to tower over him:

We have traveled many lightyears to find you.

2006-02-24T22:00:00.000-08:00

Dress: Part 2

2006-02-24T13:01:00.000-08:00

So, moving on: I don't think I could really bear another 3-4 months of waiting for a new dress, so I'm looking at the quickest options. There's the ever-popular J Crew wedding dresses, as well as Ann Taylor's. Here's a nice one from ebay:

A sample dress:

Dress: End of Part 1.

2006-02-24T12:32:00.000-08:00

So, after some angry emails and 8 months after I ordered my dress, I canceled my order with Wedding Expressions and they're refunding me. :( This is definitely not how I wanted things to end.

They passed the buck the whole time and blamed the designer's mfg delays, and then a flaw in the dress that forced them to send the dress back. At that point, the dress was 3 months late already. Couldn't they find a local tailor to fix the dress? Couldn't they have called me up, explained what the flaw was, and let me make my own decision? After I demanded a dress in two weeks or a refund now, they told me Mori Lee had decided to re-make the dress from scratch rather than fix it, so the new ETA would've been April, 10 (!) months after I placed the order.

Manufacturing delays are one thing, but never bothering to call me to tell me about the delays, or offer an apology, or a refund or options, or even asking if it would arrive too late for my wedding is truly, truly abominable for a bridal gown shop.

I am wholly disappointed with my experience with them. I would definitely recommend brides go with stores that have delivery guarantees because Wedding Expressions wouldn't even consider comping me partially for a dress that would've been delivered 10 months after I placed the order.

So, besides wasting my time and money for the last 8 months, I now have to consider rush charges on the second dress, something I wouldn't've had to do back in June.

The most unromantic post ever!

2006-02-19T22:22:00.000-08:00

I read somewhere that only 3% of married couples have a prenuptial agreement, and we'll be one of them. And, I'll go on record as the person who first brought it up, so no picking on Steve!

I picked up Nolo's Prenup e-book and it's a pretty interesting topic so far. The law favors the spouse in death/divorce, so you can use a prenup to backup your will that states the family farm or heirloom passes on to your children and stays in the family. (Handy for second marriages.) Prenups can be use to clarify vagueness in law and to specify who pays the bills and how. You can't use it to withhold child support because that would be against public policy and would be thrown out in court.

So, not that big of a deal, you should be talking about these things anyway if you're getting married.

Look, there goes our dignity!

2006-02-18T20:46:00.000-08:00

Originally uploaded by HODONI.

A couple's wedding studio session. (More and less ridiculous poses there.)

What they wore.

2006-02-15T10:21:00.000-08:00

Nine Fashion Designers on Their Wedding Day. Kate Spade looked especially cute.

The Couple.

2006-02-11T17:29:00.000-08:00

We realized some of the distant relations who received Save the Date cards had no idea who we were because I didn't add our last names. So, for visual reference:

Stacy Wong. Native San Franciscan. Working in book production. Looks funny in hats.

Parents: Arthur & Helen.

Steve Jenson. Originally hailing from Pendleton, OR. Working at Google. Fearsome with or without a sword.

Parents: Randy & Jeni.

An argument for classic silhouettes.

2006-02-09T19:33:00.000-08:00

So, I would say the hottest trend for bridal dresses is the pick-ups to make a big, flow-y skirt, as such:

Beautiful? Yes! But, only for now. I have a feeling it'll look very dated ten years from now, and we'll all look like we're in big, poofy 80s prom dresses.

Yay! Save the Dates are in the mail.

2006-02-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

With lots of extra postage. My penny-pinching heart weeps. That's, like, 8 bucks I lost there.

Actually, what's even worse is that I went to the post office twice: once to get the postcard-valued stamps from a vending machine, which I later realized were the old rate; and the second time to get $0.01 stamps. This I had to stand in line for. It was a slow, slow death.

How do I get to the San Francisco Film Centre?

2006-02-05T13:56:00.000-08:00

The Film Centre is located inside The Presidio, a national park in the northwest corner of San Francisco. The Film Centre is located next to Main Post and the Main Parade Ground, a 7-acre parking lot that used to be the site of military drills, troop exercises, and public ceremonies. (So, it's very big.)

Here's what the building looks like on the Keyes Ave side:

Here's a map:

(Click to enlarge)

By Car:
The SF Film Centre's website has directions on how to get there from all directions. If you're staying at the Coventry Motor Inn, use the directions for entering through the Lombard Gate.

The address to use for Google Maps or Mapquest is:
39 Keyes Avenue
San Francisco, CA 94129

There's ample free parking in an L-shaped lot next to the Film Centre:

By Cab:
We don't like Yellow Cab since they don't always show up when you call. We do like Luxor (415.282.4141) and DeSoto (415.970.1300)

Most drivers won't know where the Film Centre is, but will know where the Main Post is in the Presidio. Bring the map and directions just in case.

Not By Bus:
There are MUNI buses that stop near the Presidio and a few that stop inside, but none of them really get you close enough. There is PresidiGo, a free shuttle, but it only runs once an hour on weekends and the stop is way on the other side of the parade ground. Sorry, Charlie.

Meh.

2006-02-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

My postcards are considered "Large" and needs $0.39. I, of course, learn this after I already put on the $0.23 & $0.01 stamps on.

Meh.

Another enormous invite.

2006-02-04T13:27:00.000-08:00

Originally uploaded by contraversion.

I realize this provides no kind of scale comparison because the binder is not standard size and gigantic itself.

I'm actually leaning back toward this again since it is ultimately cheaper when you consider shipping and postage.

Did you know you can check out invite albums from Papyrus if you leave a credit card number?

Big Invite

2006-02-03T16:11:00.000-08:00

Originally uploaded by contraversion.

I take it back; some of the samples I selected from the indian invitation company are the size of a circus tent. I think I'm destined to select The Biggest Invitation There Ever Existed, perhaps I just need to accept this.

So, two questions:

2006-02-02T17:00:00.000-08:00

1) Would you like a little, itty bitty Steve & Stacy leaping at you from a daisy to announce our engagement? (The answer is No, no, a thousand times no.)

2) Why isn't that woman wearing a shirt?

Julia caught the bouquet in a most unconventional fashion.

2006-02-02T16:57:00.000-08:00

A very fuzzy warning.

2006-01-31T23:09:00.000-08:00

Originally uploaded by contraversion.

Would this be considered DIY? I printed these on labels and putting them on nice postcards of San Francisco.

Hotel for out-of-town guests.

2006-01-30T16:34:00.000-08:00

Update: We're past the deadline and they've released the rooms we blocked out. If you're still in need of accomodations, you can still book at the Coventry Motor Inn at their regular rate. Or, use my favorite travel rate comparison tool, SideStep.

We've set aside rooms for Friday & Saturday nights (8/25-8/26) at:

Coventry Motor Inn
1901 Lombard Street
San Francisco, CA 94123
415-567-1200

The special rate is $98/night + taxes with a two night minimum. Free parking and internet!

Very important: when making your reservation, mention Group #1161 to get the special rate. You must make your reservation by June 25, 2006 to secure the special rate.

If you'd rather select your own hotel, I would recommend looking in the Marina & Cow Hollow districts, as there are has lots of hotel options in that area, and they are close to the ceremony/reception site.

Stop the presses... again.

2006-01-28T20:37:00.000-08:00

These invitations are wicked cool. And not the size of a circus tent! They're from Indian Wedding Card. I might go with them.

Cheap-o hair accessories.

2006-01-28T17:28:00.000-08:00

I like the Betty Wales barrettes here.

Silk flower clips here.

1928: vintage-glamour replicas. This barrette's pretty neat.

Down hair styles.

2006-01-27T16:43:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda liking more and more the idea of leaving my hair down. Some ideas:

Damn.

2006-01-26T09:40:00.000-08:00

This is the most highly neg-rated WedFo post I've ever seen.

(The OP wonders what to do with her one plus-sized bridesmaid because she thinks she'll mess up her photographs.)

Dream:

2006-01-26T09:25:00.000-08:00

I got my dress and it had sleeves, and I had to return it.

Guaranteed personality.

2006-01-24T16:50:00.000-08:00

Why does "Lost in the Supermarket" by the Clash appear so frequently in people's wedding DJ list?

Personalized napkins.

2006-01-22T23:32:00.000-08:00

Classy-looking personalized stuff.

Why we're really doing all this.

2006-01-22T16:44:00.000-08:00

It is never too early to consider spa treatments while in Oahu. SpaHalekulani has a nice menu as does the Mandarin Oriental.

That does mean we decided on Oahu. We're cityfolk and everything closing at 8pm in sleepy Maui is kinda scary for us.

One ring to rule them all.

2006-01-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

One ring to find them.

One ring to bring them all

And in the darkness bind them.

(I'm planning on resetting my engagement ring stones into a new band. I am drawn to rings that look like they increase your Intelligence or White Magic by +3. Steve is kind enough not too laugh at me too much.)

Big head, halter neckline.

2006-01-18T21:12:00.000-08:00

I like her hair.

Custom suit.

2006-01-16T22:27:00.000-08:00

Someone on IndieBride recommended these guys for custom-tailored suits.

Invitation update.

2006-01-15T18:08:00.000-08:00

I flipped through the sample books at Papyrus, and the invitation I had been eyeing is, in a word, enormous. It could basically double as a sunshade for your car, if you so choose.

Though, I think it would look nice in Claret, which is a less-saturated Red.

But, it's huge.

Makeup & hair trial!

2006-01-14T16:28:00.000-08:00

Masami came by and I got my hair did. I booked her today.

OK, I'll agree to one attendant, but under one condition.

2006-01-12T13:44:00.000-08:00

Alternative caption: "He sighed and sat in defeat, having tried everything to get his bride's attention, but she continued to wear her wedding dress casually around house: the living room, the pillow room, the kitchen, and mumbled distractedly about mismatched stamps on the invitation and response cards."

Alternative caption: "Steve's been working out."

Alternative caption: "Hey, what's my train caught on... oh."

From the horse's mouth.

2006-01-12T13:41:00.000-08:00

Stacy,
Again, our apologies, but your gown had come in damaged and we sent it back
for repairs and we are looking for it to come in the week of Feb. 20th if
not before. That was the update from Mori Lee.
Thanks,

Sincerely,

Wedding Expressions
http://weddingexpressions.com

----- Original Message -----
From: "Stacy Wong"
To: "Derek Baker"
Sent: Wednesday, January 11, 2006 6:54 PM
Subject: Re: Order Status

> I'm almost afraid to ask, but where's my dress? It's nearly 3 months late
now.
>
> - s.

Nice cape.

2006-01-11T10:58:00.000-08:00

Our photographer not only shoots in the photojournalistic style, she's an actual photojournalist for the SF Chronicle.

I hope she can make me look as elegant as this lovely lass.

Since wedding photography is a side business for her, she doesn't have a wedding portfolio online. You can, however, see her work at SFGate.

Lost & Found Lovers

2006-01-10T15:22:00.000-08:00

Interesting article on a 1997 book by a person who studied people who went a-searchin' for old flames. Her advice:

Don't do it.

"I wouldn't touch it if you are married,'' she says. "Some of these people have no idea what they are getting into."

Fortunately, my past romances were short-lived and the break-ups bitter and explosive. The old-fashioned way!

Photographer: check!

2006-01-10T13:27:00.000-08:00

Katy is more officially our photographer. She'll be sending us a contract in the mail soon. (Yip!)

Her lab will give us both low and high res images on disc, which I thought was rather nice.

Officiating.

2006-01-10T09:47:00.000-08:00

Here's a link to San Francisco One Day Deputization restrictions and rules and whatnot.

And, of course, free online ordination into the Universal Life Church.

Some things are meant to be.

2006-01-09T16:58:00.000-08:00

When I was getting invitation quotes from brokers, one accidentally quoted me for this one:

She said that she had taken many, many orders for this style. God bless your hearts, you crazy couples. Even I am not so daring as to send this out to my grandma.

Cake: check!

2006-01-07T21:18:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to have my makeup trial today, but I got a sad voicemail from her saying her grandfather passed away and she wouldn't be able to make our appointment. I sent her an email with my condolances and encouraging her to take as much as time as she needed to get back to me. Frankly, I was a little bit relieved because I saw Brokeback Mountain last night and I felt like I was carrying the weight of two broken hearts.

Later, we went to Schubert's for a cake tasting. Actually, we and 5 other couples went to Schubert's for a cake tasting. That place was packed and considering they're still serving their regular customers, we didn't get a lot of attention. And the attention we got was confused and timid. If you're a high maintenance bride, this is not the place to get your cake, you'll just get frustrated. I only bothered to tolerate it because I have 100% faith in their cake quality being a regular customer.

I spied one high maintenance couple who snapped at a staff member because they were promised the next open table (like it was a restaurant?) and someone else had taken it. Later, they wanted samples of fresh fruit fillings, which I don't think Schubert's does in their day-to-day operations. (In fact, what fruits would be in season now and on their future wedding date?) They left in a polite huff after nibbling their samples.

My point here is that they don't cater to wedding customers, who are used to having their toes kissed, but they'll make a darn fine cake in the end.

We tried choco with choco filling, choco with mocha and white cake with lemon & custard. Though they were small samples they whipped up in back, they placed a little chocolate coffe bean on one sample and a wee little lemon slice candy on the other. Hopelessly cute!

We, unfortunately, had to agree to fondant. :( But, it'll be chocolate and the cake on the whole will be delicious, and extremely affordable. And pretty! White icing on choco fondant in a swirly design.

Hair

2006-01-05T21:56:00.000-08:00

I dig it, man.

We struggle.

2006-01-04T13:22:00.000-08:00

People ask me if or simply assume that I'm going crazy with wedding planning, but it really hasn't been that difficult. I will read on a message board about a bride who's upset that the stamps on her reply card don't match her invitation stamps, and wonder who in the hell these people are and if her family and friends would really pass judgement on her because of this.

Updates:

* My God, I still don't have the dress I ordered in July. The manufacturer shipped it to the store, but it had flaws, so the store is waiting to see if the manufacturer will fix, or make a new dress. I think it's funny that the delay has created this dramatic anticipation for an admittedly cheap dress.

* Confirmed with Katy that she will, indeed, be our photographer. I think I caused unnecessary drama by asking if we could get a contact sheet rather than prints since we're primarily interested in the digital scans. She seemed mildly distressed, but willing to give us what we want. I feel kinda cruddy about it, actually, since I don't feel all that strongly about it, but may have given that impression.

* Found a long lost classmate from college on Yelp, of all places. And, she's a pastry chef! Considering her for the cake.

* Still have a scheduled cake tasting at Schubert's this Saturday.

* Also have my first makeup trial on Saturday.

* I should really block out rooms soon.

iPhoto books.

2005-12-25T18:25:00.000-08:00

Wow, the photo books you can order through iPhoto are way nice-looking. (Those photos are from our trip to Vancouver and a visit to Glowbal.)

Mr & Mrs Mann

2005-12-22T12:18:00.000-08:00

originally uploaded by heather.

An exceptionally cute photo of a couple that just eloped!

(I drip with envy at all the wedding planning they missed out on.)

This is a good example of why I don't get obsessive over technical perfection in photography. The emotional impact more than compensates for the cruddy camphone pic quality.

Polaroid guest books.

2005-12-19T12:43:00.000-08:00

I like the idea, but don't know if our guests would, or if it would be difficult logistically.

Hm...

No bridal party

2005-12-19T09:48:00.000-08:00

thread on IndieBride. I'm glad to find other people who agree with me. And most of them appear to be having Jewish ceremonies or else a small guest count for the ceremony. Or having their dog be the ringbearer (no joke.)

Can a ceremony be too short?

2005-12-19T09:27:00.000-08:00

The IndieBride peanut gallery chimes in. I think we might have the same issue.

IndieBride's Giant Ceremony Reading Repository

2005-12-19T09:23:00.000-08:00

is here.

Stop the presses.

2005-12-13T20:19:00.000-08:00

I LOVE these invitations. I'm scrapping the DIY idea and getting these. As soon as I finalize the guest list. Which is soon, honest.

Update: the link wasn't so friendly, so I've posted the image above.

Bling!

2005-12-09T23:28:00.000-08:00

One should not neglect independent crafters when selecting their wedding jewelry. You can find this and many other fine pieces at Etsy.

All I know about weddings

2005-12-08T21:46:00.000-08:00

I learned from Looney Tunes.

(I was looking for wedding hair photos on Google and found this and laughed and laughed.)

OK, I actually found two MUA available.

2005-12-06T10:12:00.000-08:00

I'm booking trials for January. Only one of them does hair, though. The hair thing I keep flip-flopping about because I might just leave it down like Carmen Electra, which would probably only require some hot rollers, some anti-frizz hair stuff, and a pretty barrette:

(This will be the first and probably the last time I emulate Carmen Electra, btw. Though, Dave and Carmen seemed really sweet on their reality show. OK, I take it back: Carmen, you aren't a skank-ho, in spite of your striptease aerobics video.)

I also called my caterer to straighten out some numbers.

Dress: now expected to arrive in December.

I should really reserve a block for the hotels soon.

Steve's thinking of doing the "nice suit" thing rather than the tux thing. I think he'd look pretty hot in a dark grey or brown, and it would go nice with the dark red tones I'm schemin' for the color scheme. But we'll see.

Moo.

Crazy females.

2005-12-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

I would say every other make-up artist I talk to is already booked. And I think that's crazy.